New Year`s Resolutions

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    10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
    9. I will stop sending email to my roommate.
    8. I resolve to work with neglected children...my own.
    7. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
    6. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
    5. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear...I`m coming. Never mind.
    4. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
    3. I resolve to back up my new 1GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...monthly, perhaps...
    2. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net.
    1. I won`t try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
    0. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won`t reply "MS Tech Support."
    -1. I will read the manual.
    -2. I will think of a password other than "password."
    -3. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
  • By Default! At an evening party the guests were asked to take part in a game in which everybody was to make a face and the one who made the worst face was to win the prize. It seemed as if all did their worst. Then the judge went up to our Banta who was sitting alone in a corner.
  • Foreigner! Foreigner! Santa returns from London. He calls his wife and asks her, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
    She says no.
  • Imagination! Several weeks after Banta had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager`s office.
  • Partying Banta! Banta left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and...
  • Pickeled Peppers! Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
    A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
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